Therapy that works!

I just successfully discharged another therapy client who reached their goals. I’ve had a lot of these lately and it brings up a sense of pride in myself and in my client for the good work that we have done together. And makes me want to reflect on what went well - hence, this blog post. 

Although every client is different and no 2 therapy sessions are exactly the same - what is universally true is that to get to a successful discharge, we both have had to work. Healing is complicated and can take time, but good therapists have developed a framework for how to get to the good stuff and should be skilled in guiding you towards healing. And when clients are ready for the healing, it really can be a beautiful working relationship! 

We both had to form a therapeutic alliance where we trust each other to be honest and participate fully in the work of healing. In plain english, we both have to say hard things and be willing to be vulnerable. I do my part/my therapist job well by accepting the client with warmth and empathy, showing up with interventions in mind that could be useful, pivoting when the client has a different idea, and staying grounded and attuned to my client (this is therapy speak for me putting aside any distractions and being really ready to listen). For therapy to be successful, clients also have to do their job: show up and tell the truth. This is the only “must do” in therapy.  In the case of the client discharged today, they also did their job by doing their homework, implementing tools, practicing coping skills, making appointments with other healthcare providers, and reading recommended materials between sessions. When clients are able to do these things, they tend to make progress quickly! 

Potential clients often ask me how long therapy takes, and my typical answer is, “everyone is different so I can’t really say”.  I don’t want to set someone up for unrealistic expectations about progress, but it’s also a really fair question to ask. I would never take my car to a repair shop that tells me “it takes as long as it takes”. I would argue that human healing is much more complex than car healing! But it's also fair for you to want good value from your therapy sessions just like you do from your mechanic, and you should notice something changing or shifting for the better within a few sessions. If you get a few sessions in and you don’t see progress or feel more hopeful, the therapist you are working with might not be a great fit for you! In this hard-working client’s case, treatment took 13 sessions, but your mileage may vary:) Therapists love metaphors! 

Therapy actually feels really good and fun when I’m doing my job well and you are doing your job well (show up! Tell the truth!).  And we end our work together when we get to the place where you feel like you can show up wholeheartedly for your life and tell the truth in your relationships without my support - that’s successful therapy in my book.